Talking About Divorce

The decision about when to divorce is an important moment in anyone’s life. It is going to spur many changes in your life, your family’s lives, and in your finances. However, if it is necessary to do, you have carefully weighed the decision, and consulted with an experienced Pittsburgh divorce lawyer about the steps to move forward, then the only thing left to do is to announce it.

The general resolution to most things is to go directly to the source. Similarly, the first person you should talk to about the divorce is your spouse. (In the case of domestic violence, this obviously would be different.) One of the key things is to pick a good time to sit down, and to discuss the issue calmly. Remember that the way that you talk about it now can set the terms for how the rest of the divorce proceeds. Discuss as calmly as possible, without hysterics, and be honest about what you want. If you’re sure that divorce is the right thing, then don’t make the way you describe the divorce tentative. Try to affirm the important place that your spouse has had in your life, and try to declare up front that you would like to retain some relationship with them. You may also want to schedule an appointment with a therapist, and recommend that your spouse does the same. A therapist can help you work through all of the new emotions that may develop in light of the divorce.

Once you tell your spouse, you have to tell your kids. There times to do this that are better than others. For example, you may choose to tell your kids over summer vacation. This way, each parent has time to spend with the kids, and can help to ease them into the transition. During the school year, in the midst of sports practice, dance class, and other obligations, the change comes amid all the other things they have to do and places they have to be. Similarly, during the school year, telling them during a long weekend or a break from school gives them more time to ease themselves into the adjustment.

Communication about the divorce process is one of the most important aspects in setting the tone for the future. If both sides are able to communicate openly and clearly, then both time and money could be saved down the road. Our Pittsburgh divorce lawyers know that any divorce, no matter how amicable, will be difficult emotionally for all parties involved. Contact us today to discuss how to best proceed with your divorce case!